There is no alkaline diet.

There is no alkaline diet.

There is no alkaline diet.  Ok, as you were.  That’s it, that’s the post.

Been torn the past few days about writing something “positive”.  This is despite (makes gesture to the world) everything that is going on at the moment.  But I just cannot.  Misinformation really makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.  I used to work with a woman who mentioned alkalizing literally every damn time we worked together.  At the time I chose not to say anything along the line of “you know that’s not a thing, right?”  I did this for a couple of reasons.  One was that we worked well together, and we were the only 2 working together when we did work together.  Sort of a don’t start none, won’t be none.  The other reason was that I sincerely doubt that there was anything I could have said that would have changed her mind – she was a true believer.  If you’ve ever watched a clip of a zealot, you can imagine the futility of attempting to engage on a matter about which someone has chosen to believe.

Guarding against elephants

Once upon a time there were two men taking the train from Ottawa to Toronto.  They were sharing a train compartment and as it was a lovely day the windows were down.  One of the men takes a newspaper from his briefcase and begins to take sheets of the newspaper, crumple them up and throw them out the window.

Crumple throw, crumple throw.

The other man watches this for several minutes until finally he cannot help himself and he asks the man with the newspaper what he is doing.  The newspaper man says to him “I am keeping the elephants away from the train track.”

The man asking about the newspaper is taken aback.  He pauses and then he says, “But there are no elephants anywhere near here.”

Newspaper man “See how well it works!”

Beliefs are not facts

Thus it is with the ongoing alkaline bullshit in the natural health community.  The pH level of your blood is tightly regulated so as to keep you alive.  Your kidneys and your lungs act to maintain this level at a steady state.  Your blood is always (barring serious medical emergency) around a pH of 7.35 – 7.45.  Slightly alkaline.

Even as I am writing I am thinking to myself – why waste my time with this.   I have errands to run, a shower to take.  I think it comes down to the fact that when people waste their time on something that is NOT a thing it takes away from the time, energy, and resources they have available for stuff that is a thing.

Save your money

I just googled.  $619.00 for a machine to make alkaline water.  What a grift!

Your stomach has a pH of 2.0.  Acidic.  And when you drink down that delicious $$$$$ alkaline water your stomach will release more stomach acid to maintain the correct pH level so that your digestion can function properly.  The alkaline grift encourages folks to eat fewer processed foods and more fruits and vegetables.  That is pretty much the only positive thing to be said about it.  It has nothing to do with acidity or alkalinity.

I sometimes drink Icelandic water.  pH 8.4.  I drink it because it’s hot out and I like the taste.  That’s it.

In the spirit of saving my time (and my sanity) you can read more about the alkaline diet here.

Stay safe and watch out for elephants.

black and white photo of elephant

 

 

 

The elephant story is not my original, I heard it years ago and have here retold it in my own words.